I have not posted anything in a while but in light of the fact that I currently cannot sleep, I will take this opportunity to write a few words down.
I am struggling. This is a funny way to think of my recent success. When I initially began this blog, I thought that it would be an interesting way to document my emerging career. See, no one can tell you how to successfully become an artist or at least, those who are already there won’t tell you how it works.
Since I began this blog in January, I have been accepted to two residencies, received two grants and have had my work published multiple times, once in print in The International Space Design magazine ‘Bob’ and featured on Juxtapos’ site. I have also recently received fiscal sponsorship through Fractured Atlas and yet I am barely scraping by financially. I lay awake tonight trying to figure out how I’m going to make it all work. How am I going to maintain my financial responsibilities and still make work? This I suppose, is what kills “young” artists as they take the leap to do what they know must be done and create.
I don’t think I have any other choice other than to be an artist. It is what I am best at. I feel that the recent interest in my work means that I have a voice, one that others are inspired by. I believe that I must find a way to make it work and that I can get there if I can only figure it out. It’s like a game or a puzzle: find the money to make the work to get the money to survive.
And so I am going to lay down now and rest so that I can wake up and do it again tomorrow and finish the piece above my bed that will be featured on Walking Harp, and online artist collective that I have been invited to participate in.
When you give up your dream you die. Stay focused and move forward. Let go, take a deep breath and jump!